Distilled Spirit

It's been long time I've been acting as an outsider in all matters related to Ponnuse. She is in an position to keep me hide from everyone. Only Jayettan, Syju Abraham and Kiran knows about us. In this only Jayettan met us. It's ok if she would face any issues as of now if our love is disclosed. Today we had to go to St. John's Hospital for checking the pain on her right side of head. Since it was St. John's i could not go inside the doctors consulting room.

Don't make me strong enough to live alone. Once when you miss me, its not necessarily that I've to feel that.

I hide the fire of rocks burning inside me I knew it will hurt the beings resting on me Wanted to burst out and plunge in to the memory But saw the particles rejoicing behind the shadows Need to calm the surface to cool the hearts of others Need to exist the top to alive the worshippers And I've to be here until the end of the winds

I feel she left me. We had been in a turbulent love always. She being a married Filipina who is living separate from her husband was difficult to marry me since there is no divorce in Philippines. That might have made her to disappear many times from me. Repeated disappearances made me to not trust her. Lot of pressure I had faced. At least when another Filipina came and courted me saying she is not like other Filipinas, i trusted the new Filipina. But after 4 yrs i came to know the truth. This new Filipina has three children from two men. Again I'm fallen down in their trap. I lost almost 10 years in all these. In all I loved Nice. She though cheated me stood for me. Now she is going from me.  It's good for her. Best of luck.

She came to Singapore listening to my words. It was difficult for her to get Indian visa since India embassy sealed "VAF" Visa applied for on her passport. That means one person applied for visa but not granted. My marriage plan is postponed again. That made me to tell her to go back to Singapore where she was working. And Singapore allows foreigners marriage if all documents are valid. Before she was traveling to Singapore it was confirmed that she is a widow and has three kids. It was painful to know that news after 4 years of contact with her. She never told me about it. Here I'm not able to settle in the new rented house. Things are getting complicated. She is continuing waning that since she came to Singapore she lost some job opportunities... whatever life is stressful.

I met her in the SAS training institute in Bangalore. A doctor with BDS qualification who wanted to come to learn SAS. I noticed her matured way of behaving and that attracted me. I was trying to study her to know her better. I liked her so much. I found that she is undateable because of the same matured and serious way to behaving. Interestingly this undateable attitude attract men. Now here is the pitfall. I am not able to crack her shell. I can understand that she knows I am attracted to her. May be the religious and age difference can be a barrier for her to open up. My situation was another woman is committed to me. The same age old question came to mind: love a woman who loves you than loving a woman who is running away from you.