Distilled Spirit

"Para Qué La Vida" Han pasado quince dias y seis horas desde que te fuistes de mi vida. Lloro por las noches y duermo por el dia, desde que te fuistes de mi vida. Si supieras que sin ti yo no sé ser feliz, si supieras que sin ti yo no sé sobrevivir. Ya nada me importa ni los sueños que parecen una estupidez si no estoy contigo para qué ? Siendo medio loco dando vueltas y te busco y no te puedo ver, Para qué la vida?Para qué ? Para qué la vida... Salgo por la calle, llamo a mis amigos, dicen que te aranque de mi vida. Fui donde el doctor, me dió unos sedativos Pero qué tu quieres que te diga? Que no hay forma, mira no, de romper esta cruz Que por más que quiera, ay Dios, nunca hay nadie como tu. Ya nada me importa, ni los sueños que parecen una estupidez Si no estoy contigo para qué? Siendo medio loco, dando vueltas y te busco y no te puedo ver Para qué la vida? Para qué? Dicen que es una obesesion este que no tiene fin pero es que nadie se compara a ti. Ya nada me importa ni

Prasad's marriage is fixed. Now in the five member team of Alpha i am the only one left out as unmarried. Subair and Gafoor sir is much ahead, they are having kids. They all followed the conventional way of marriage, arranged by the family and from the same caste with all traditional blends. One of my friend was mentioning about 480 grams of Gold he got from the girl's family. I will choose the word dowry for that. Still its prevailing here. But if the system is there or not in India all the family send their daughter with all golden ornaments! Even if we are telling them we don't want any penny, the bride will come covered with gold! I don't like to see the mummified body! Many families are falling down in the financial troubles after marriage of a girl. Among Muslim many boys start their career or business after getting the dowry! People spend Lakhs taking loans and credit. I chosen my own way. I was searching for a lady who was divorced or widow as my life partner. A

Good bye to the lap of mother before tasting the milk Good bye to the finger of Guru before standing Good bye to the happiness of childhood before laughing Good bye to the care of lover before being cared Now good bye to the wonderful life before living worthy

burning sand grains were too sharp piernced on his wounded foot. the makulit child was walking on the desert where see no end. sun rays were pinching on his broken skin and the hot wind roasted his lungs. some where he could see the green to relax and walk again. his eyes were searching all arround, but desert... deserts... only! his shadow of love were spreading softening the hard desert expected soul can be there fallen his shadow will protect her looking back he could see the colors he smiled, wanted to run back And embrace all the colors of life But that became stars on the sky Closing the eyes he walked ahead with a single thought and smiling...

Man is searching his soul, Makulit kid is searching his mom, Father is searching his daughter, Brother is searching his sister, Friend is searching his friend, Ultimately accomplishment... Holding the hands together...

One year over! Feeling lonely. Became a one man show! Krishna... listen to the songs of silence! Makulit kid! Pikon! Walk... You may fall down! But walk... Hot wind is flowing from East. Life is unworthy... God is unworthy... Love is unworthy... Care is unworthy... Dreams are unworthy... This unworthiness was not there before! Human life, how precious! Misinterpretation of religious scriptures making the life unworthy! People, open your eyes. See the bright world. Find the happiness. 211109

Subair came to his home town last week. Today evening have traveled to his place. I was bit unhappy with him since he could not help me regarding the things happened in the last year and this year. I asked him why he did not give money to Dappu. He told me, he called and told Dappu that I told him to give money to Dappu but she told him, she doesn't require money! Oh! I also remember Subair told me the same thing in the last year! Forgotten! Then why Dappu told that I did not help in time? Who's brain is behind the drama? Rein? I don't want to blame Dappu :) 181109

It was there fixed in mind. When I have seen the broken family of father, when i have seen the the in fight, I decided that. Settling up my family some where. And my followers as guiding society. It was perfectly twined in 2006 and 07. But evil hit that. But nobody can changed my determination. I am not here simply choose somebody for the walk on life. I am determined. And I will. 181109

It was the 1st birthday party of Shaiju's first child. He was invited me many times thinking that I may not be there in Bangalore. A small party with few friends. Time was flying I wanted to catch the bus to Kerala. It was about to 9 night. I rushed to Shatinager Bus Terminal hoping that bus will be getting to Coimbatore nearest state to Kerala. City started sleeping. I was tired.Luckilythere was a bus at 11 night. Now 9-10 hours busjourney. Always travelling... always... forgot to live! Life became travelling! Reached Kerala at 8.30 morning. Caught bus to Kullappully then to home town. Reached at 10 am.

Morning 10 to evening 7 I was with CA in Tax offices. For the last two months he was unable to make the get the changed tax returns of 2007-08. Only by bribing it was possible. Since it was two months i almost lost my patience! But today i have gone with him to make it. Before the officer was asking 20% of bribe of total tax payable. Then he raised to 40% then 60% then 80%!!! I kept quiet. Its was the CA's approach made the things like this. I just told if i have to give 80% bribe i dont want it! then i came down to 60%. At last after all struggles i got it! I am very much happy. Now i have to forward this for processing. Happiness!

Days are going. Ita is not contacting. I believe in Supreme power. Praying for her always. This week one day she came online, many hours she was there invisible. But she did not chat with me except a few words. Still she continues that she is liar, not worthy... I just want her presence. She the best person I ever know. She is the best. She knows I need her. But slipping again! It is putting me down. I am like a person without spirit. She knows that, my mind. I have to make it. Going ahead with full faith.