2008 Christmas Day
Christmas day, 2008, I was sitting in my home checking emails. I have seen Abi online. I chatted with her. She wanted to come to India. She is an American Filipina of 31 years old married to an American 63 years old. Since her husband is so abusive she wanted her children to pursue their schooling in India. And she wanted to settle down in Kerala. Her Ilocos blood always made her to search the ancestors from Southern India. Before Spaniards, when Mahapajit and Sri Vijaya Kingdoms were ruling Philippines they were having the mixed culture of Southern Indians and Austronesians. Abi believed in the Indian blood in Filipinos. At last she decided to come and see the 'God's own country' Kerala.
I sent email to my missing girl friend, Dapu regarding Abi's visit. I did not get any reply. Dapu was not replying to my emails for few months after she left Dubai. I did not know what is happening. She was in Cebu in June when the typhoon hit the coasted areas of Cebu. I did not know that whether she is living or not. It was so hurting to me being unknown about the things happening. But I continued sending her emails hoping that she is safe and living there some where. Even though we loved each other very much she was against marriage and living together! She always told me to search an Indian girl. Dapu was elder to me. That was main reason for her request to search another girl. But I always insisted her to meet first then decide. It was a two years old online, we never met in real life. Instead we have seen each other in web cams. I loved her very much. Her love has a motherly touch. Men when it coming to choosing the life partner they unconsciously compare with their mother. If you ask men to compare their sweet heart's and mother's behavior and characteristics the similarities will be many. I feel many men wants to child! But because of the social pressure they are acting. More than six months I am sending emails to Dapu. After few months I started getting her emails replies. One or two words or one sentences. She continued the old song 'search an Indian girl'. But I never thought of an Indian girl. I hated the word 'search an Indian girl'.
I was waiting for Dapu's email. Because I had to help Abi to different schools. I just wanted to tell her. Filipinas call Indian guys Virgins. Before doing anything we share that with the partner even small small things. I considered Dapu as my own. I dreamed walking in the moonlight on the chocolate hills along with her.
I was so happy when I have seen the email of Dapu. I was thrilled to open her email. My eyes run through her email..... 'I am with my husband, forget me'..... Dapu is with her husband! I was in a different mood. Absent minded. I was having a selfish love. I wanted her presence always. Now.... I am not under those men who can tell 'if my wife is going with somebody let her go'! Mind was traveling in to the past. Our talks, our small wishes, our fights.... I hated me. I hated me for being angry with her for many times. Now she ignored me totally. I hate me...
I sent email to my missing girl friend, Dapu regarding Abi's visit. I did not get any reply. Dapu was not replying to my emails for few months after she left Dubai. I did not know what is happening. She was in Cebu in June when the typhoon hit the coasted areas of Cebu. I did not know that whether she is living or not. It was so hurting to me being unknown about the things happening. But I continued sending her emails hoping that she is safe and living there some where. Even though we loved each other very much she was against marriage and living together! She always told me to search an Indian girl. Dapu was elder to me. That was main reason for her request to search another girl. But I always insisted her to meet first then decide. It was a two years old online, we never met in real life. Instead we have seen each other in web cams. I loved her very much. Her love has a motherly touch. Men when it coming to choosing the life partner they unconsciously compare with their mother. If you ask men to compare their sweet heart's and mother's behavior and characteristics the similarities will be many. I feel many men wants to child! But because of the social pressure they are acting. More than six months I am sending emails to Dapu. After few months I started getting her emails replies. One or two words or one sentences. She continued the old song 'search an Indian girl'. But I never thought of an Indian girl. I hated the word 'search an Indian girl'.
I was waiting for Dapu's email. Because I had to help Abi to different schools. I just wanted to tell her. Filipinas call Indian guys Virgins. Before doing anything we share that with the partner even small small things. I considered Dapu as my own. I dreamed walking in the moonlight on the chocolate hills along with her.
I was so happy when I have seen the email of Dapu. I was thrilled to open her email. My eyes run through her email..... 'I am with my husband, forget me'..... Dapu is with her husband! I was in a different mood. Absent minded. I was having a selfish love. I wanted her presence always. Now.... I am not under those men who can tell 'if my wife is going with somebody let her go'! Mind was traveling in to the past. Our talks, our small wishes, our fights.... I hated me. I hated me for being angry with her for many times. Now she ignored me totally. I hate me...
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